Christian Platitudes: More Harmful than Helpful

“Just have faith.”
“Trust in God.”
“God’s got a plan.”
“Pray about it.”

If these phrases sound familiar, you’ve likely intersected with Christian culture at some point or another. While these sentences are intended to be wise or encouraging, they’re often more harmful than helpful. Why?

In my experience, people most often use these Christian platitudes when they don’t know what else to say and want to sound like they care in a spiritual way.

Consider These Examples:

Situation: Your friend confides they’re unsure about trajectory life: "I don’t know what my purpose in life is. I want to do something meaningful—something that matters. But I don’t know that’s possible with my talents and skillset.”
Christian platitude response: “Hey, don’t worry about it. God’s got a plan!”
Why it’s a problem: While this phrase attempts to point back to God, it inadvertently implies that if the person was more in tune with God’s will and plan, they wouldn’t be struggling. Rather than encouraging your friend with the knowledge that God will work in and through them, you might be causing them to doubt their faith and capabilities.
Helpful response: “That sounds really hard. I believe you’re talented and so capable of meaningful work, wherever God ends up leading you.”

Situation: A friend shares that a family member is suffering from a life-threatening illness.
Christian platitude response: “Just have faith! God can heal them.”
Why it’s a problem: While there’s nothing wrong with encouraging people of faith with the reassurance that God has the power to heal, this statement also has an inadvertent implication: “If you just had more faith, trusted in God, and prayed, your family member would be healed.” But faith isn’t a formula.
Helpful response: “I can’t imagine what you’re going through, and I’m certainly praying. How can I be a supportive friend to you right now?”

Why platitudes are problematic:

As shown in the examples above, platitudes can be extremely problematic.

Platitudes often imply—unintentionally—that the other person is somehow the maker of their own misery.

Think of it this way: Someone tells you their mom has cancer that isn’t getting better. In hearing a response along the lines of, “Just have faith,” or, “Trust in God,” the friend can subliminally begin to feel and believe that if they had more faith or better trust in God, their situation would somehow change. If they were stronger or more spiritual, everything would be better. This thought patten isn’t true or helpful, and ultimately, the platitude response points back to people instead of God.

Platitudes diminish the magnitude of other people’s pain and situations.

Pain is, sadly, a part of life. For those of us those who profess faith in Jesus, this isn’t a surprise; we’re told to expect trouble in this world (John 16:33). We’re also commanded to, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15).

“Weep with those who weep.” Showing up for people and empathizing with their pain can look like a lot of different things. That said, platitudes are rarely intended to sit with a person in pain. They instead try to cheer the other person up, suggest unsolicited advice, or cause the person to question themselves and their relationship with God.

Platitudes make people feel like we don’t truly hear them; we just need an obligatory phrase so we can move on.

Caring about people and wanting them to feel supported is good; making them feel brushed off isn’t. In using Christian platitudes, we often make people feel written off by throwing out a phrase instead of choosing to show up, truly listen, and be present with another person—without trying to fix anything.

What to say instead:

While Christian platitudes are usually well-intentioned or used when the speaker isn’t sure what else to say, these phrases often do the reverse of what they’re intended to do. Rather than pointing people to God’s goodness, they point to our own inadequacies. Rather than offering encouragement, they provide a vague sentiment. Here are some suggestions of how to approach conversations with empathy, grace, and open ears:

“Wow, that sucks. How has this impacted you?”
“That sounds really hard. Tell me more about…”
“I hate that for you.”
“How can I be a good, supportive friend to you right now?”

These types of responses acknowledge the hardship of the situation and invite the speaker to continue sharing. They also invite us to sit with people in their pain. With God’s grace, we can become compassionate and empathetic listeners who weep with those who weep.